Man on fire ianuarie 30, 2009

A man on fire is a man on diet.There’s nothing more dangerous and equally more annoying than a man on diet.And when that man is your boyfriend you start thinking if you have sodomized virgins in your afterlife or pre-lives , coming to think of it.

Well i’m a skinny bitch .And i like being a skinny fuckable bitch.I struggled to be this way…i had my more than fair share of diets and i ended up having a life based on nutritional principles.But it’s fine….i’m not hysterical anymore, i don’t feel the need of beating up any kids with ice-cream or chocolate in their hands.I’m calm and i have a meaningful look when i glance at my mirror.

Now i have to deal with something far worse than an angry fat hooker on a diet.I have my boyfriend on diet.

Men are peculiar about that…they don’t want to believe that they have issues about their appearance….for them it’s like improving their cars…you don’t need a fucking sound system but you want it in order to be deaf

So they have a lot of stupid questions…like what’s the difference between a grated carott and a whole carott….do i need to eat tomatoes….why do i need to eat tomatoes….how much water should i drink….should i eat a whole lemon if the diet literally says so…..

Think a little…if all these questions would come to haunt you at ten in the morning , after you slept 5 hours….hungover ….what do you do?

I , personally tried to jump out the window….i’m a coward obviously

Now i have to confront myself to something like a fat lady in her menopause strike …….

My last question would be….after a month of diet and hunger…when we have sex and stuff will he look at me like i would be a roasted chicken..

What if I wake up and he’s chewing my hand?

Help me God….I’ll never make fun of fat chicks with their buttcracks out in the open…..